Saturday, December 29, 2012


Five years ago today at 6pm New Years Eve 2007 you lost your fight for life.  Myself, Aaron, your Nana, Mary and Francis from Hope House Hospice watched as the colour drained from your body as you took your last breath and your heart took its last beat. I held your hand as tears streamed down all our faces, including yours.
The last week of your life I will never forget it was the most horrific time of my life. We saw you suffer so much. I can relive every minute of the events around your last days. Every minute of you being rushed for brain scans this very day 5 years ago. The end results were so horrifying as I saw on the screen how most of your brain had died. I remember Kent your consultant to devastated to tell me, but he did not need to speak I just new. Many of the nurses held their heads in their hands crying just as we all were.
It was time to say goodbye as you were freed from from your drip drains needles and your life support was switched off. You slipped away so very  quickly. Tears on your cheeks as well as ours.
Some people would judge how you could turn a life support off. I have often wondered how you could turn life support off on a loved one. Until you experience it you may never understand. I watched as my precious son died from the inside out. I new in the end the machine was keeping his very much lifeless body alive.

Daniel had gone a few days before, it wad the night after boxing day, when he had visited me in the room at Ronald McDonald house at 3 in the morning. That night they were losing Daniel again in ICU. Aaron and I rushed over to be by your side in the early hours. I Held your hand you squeezed mine back saying your goodbyes. Even the nurses could not believe you were doing this they said it was impossible your could squeeze hands, but they felt it themselves you gently squeezing back. Tears streamed down your face. You had had enough. The pain we felt saying goodbye you did not want to leave but your tired body had just simply had enough of life.
I can not believe its been 5 years already it only seems like yesterday thd memories are so very clear.
It still breaks all our hearts that your not here anymore well in life form anyway. We take comfort knowing your now at peace away from any more pain.
We miss you dearly Daniel we always will.  
The stars will shine for you tonight as they do for you and your brother Callum every night.
I only have to look above on a clear dark night at the twinkling stars above to no you are both safe and always watching over us from above.
Love and missed forever  my Angels.

For  Daniel  :

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